


I've found a rhythm to the waterfall

by ColourMeOpaque



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Author Projecting onto TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Author is a Technoblade Apologist (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, I really miss their dynamic okay, Mentioned Wilbur Soot, OOC, Oh also, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Sleepy boi superemcy, TommyInnit Hears Voices (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, also probably, and finally, but do i care?, like badly, no beta we die like wilbur, probably, sbi, sleepy bois inc - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:14:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29078436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColourMeOpaque/pseuds/ColourMeOpaque
Summary: That's when the waterfalls brimmed on Tommy's eyes, gushing down in a hot and painful stream, as he made a sound that fell between a cry and a laugh, holding his brother like he had wanted to so desperately for so long ever since they'd separated."I'm upset, and I think I'm allowed to be but I still love you" Techno admitted in the most vulnerable sentence he think he'd ever said  "I know that might be a bit too confusing for your little head to understand"It took awhile for Tommy to be able to speak again, and even so it sat on the whiny tone of breaking waters again "No.. I get it, I'm upset still too but I think… i think I forgive you"----Or as I like to call it, Tommy and Techno talking properly.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 257





	I've found a rhythm to the waterfall

**Author's Note:**

> Did I add a whole new section of this for no reason other than I love them and I miss them everyday?  
> Maybe

The midnight sky was staring down at the boy with its off-white beams its light making his face clearer, every freckle, every cut and crease he had been gifted with. Yet once again he was robbed of sleep. 

It was rather pathetic, the way Tommy saw it, everytime he tried to sink away into a soft slumber he would find himself in a cold sweat and screaming not too long later, and maybe that would have been fine if he wasn't alone. 

He had tore up the bonds he forgot to treasure, an unrashionable mindset always plaguing him before sense, he abandoned Wilbur, right when he needed stability, and everyone knew how that ended, with blood on their family name. 

He pushed-no he had run away from Dream, despite the fact they were supposed to be friends and doing what was right. Though nothing was right about how he nearly slipped down so many times to the point of no return, finally after all recent events he could finally convince himself that was the right thing,yet there was still guilt there as he looked at the prison. 

He could always stay with Tubbo, of course, his best mate always there with an open door and a friendly smile that usually made him warm but now it just made him sick to his stomach. How was he meant to not see that expression and be reminded of their almost goodbye, it was made of bitter fondness and acceptance, yet he knew what Tubbo's death would have done to him. 

So he'd rather sit on this isolated cliff in the middle of nowhere than crumble into tears in Tubbo's arms, cause Tubbo deserved his peace, he always had. 

Finally there was Techno, his piggish brute of a brother with a laugh the temperature of a furnace who Tommy had spat in the face of. That's where the rest of the guilt weighed on his shoulder, so heavy and in the shape of the handmade cape he used to wear. 

Tommy had spent many hours spaced out trying to pick apart one good enough reason for what he did, he was always left with the fact he just wanted both of them, both those lives he had made with them but he couldn't, then he chose through cowards words. 

To then watch him choose Dream's assistance in place of his own was the worst pain he had felt since Wilbur's death, it corroded him from the inside out with an emotion much worse than he was ever used to. He couldn't fathom that after all of it, the sword training, the joking talks, the serious talk, the nightly episodes, the sudden relapses and the way he had hid him with a fury in his heart when he saw his abuser. 

They tore it all down, their trust, their bond, the country, the people and left only burned charred reminders of Wilbur's memory, with the help of the man who'd raised him and Tommy, he couldn't bring himself to be disappointed in Philza, it seemed his father had lost the love for him, yet he always had plenty for his 'good' sons. Tommy was a horrible bad person, sure, but on the other hand Philza's reasoning for blowing up the country he'd once denounced his son for trying to do was worse hypocrisy than anything Tommy could even think of. 

He'd believed it much more if Phil had just destroyed it to teach Tommy a lesson, a disciplining without even words. 

All the small blonde child ever dreamed of doing when he saw his father was making him proud. Someway, somehow. Techno was strong, resilient and smart. Wilbur was strong willed, determined and could sing songs that could sway any person he met. Tommy couldn't do anything. So he just tried to copy his brothers, he found solace in music disks, because they reminded him of Wilbur's soft songs, then defending them with an stolen attitude, a carbon copy of his other brother. Though no-one was impressed, they grew tired of his charade quickly, and soon he found unintentional memories sewed into the lines of the disks. 

When we started hearing whispers in his brain, he never brought it up, because once again it was an un-unique part of him, any conversation would surely end with an unfair comparison of who has it worse, Tommy would never win that. 

So when he crashed into times where they all shouted, telling him to grab that sword, telling him to make them notice him, telling him to make a statement right here right now. He stayed in his bedroom, under his bed, covering the sides with clothes until there was barely a gap of light coming through and he lay there in silence, sometimes crying, sometimes not, his nails leaving overwhelmed marks wherever he touched but that was good enough. He didn't hurt anyone that way. 

Only one person knew about that, about the truth, and comforted him and told him he was always gonna be there this time was now somewhere else, a shadow of that man , with no memory of that promise. What fun cruel irony. 

Fog, in its milky grey thinness, began to swarm the moon, making the night feeling much darker and colder than before. The chill was enough for Tommy to get up and move, only looking down the cliff for a moment before pacing away before any more intrusive thoughts could take him down. 

So he walked, and walked and walked, maybe if he passed out of exhaustion again he might just be blessed with one peaceful sleep, it was a nice thought. 

He passed the remains of L'manburg and then Snowchester, sparing a glance at the lights still in Tubbo's room, pushing himself away quicker this time, further and further until he found himself at the last place he called home. 

Techno's small cottage, standing comfortably amongst the snow, Tommy's monument had been torn down and some minor adjustments had been done, the closer Tommy got he realised the small house was a dog pen and the lights in the distance was Ranboo's modest abode. Was Ranboo a good replacement? 

Hopefully, because Ranboo deserved it, an honest and true friend, one on the same page as him constantly, Tommy couldn't bring himself to hate the hybrid after the way he befriended Tubbo and still helped him when he needed it, he was weird sure. But he was nice. 

A slow grunt shook Tommy in his skin, as he circled his vision, completely sure that he was about to get murdered by Techno, but the more he looked he couldn't see Techno anywhere. 

The noise repeated, Tommy was able to clock onto it this time, and was oddly pleased to see Carl, who was looking at him with beady eyes, a gentle laugh left the boy as his fear dissipated. 

Tommy approached the horse slowly, wondering if the horse hated him like Techno did but was quickly proved wrong when the horse bowed his head, expecting a pat which Tommy wasn't going to deny. 

He stoked Carl's mane, running his fingers through the animal's short hair, before hugging the horse. He wasn't sure what compelled him to do it but there was a sense of peace of feeling warmth and a heartbeat again. 

Until suddenly Carl roared so loudly that Tommy thought he had unintentionally hurt the animal, his shoulders flaring upwards as the animal did it again. Then Tommy realised Carl was trying to get Techno's attention. 

That deceiving bastard, right as Tommy was about to run the horse clamped his teeth on the back of his shirt, making a fearless tug of war as the horse pulled him back as Tommy genuinely was trying to run for his life,barely moving a metre in and out. 

"Carl? Carl, what's up buddy? It's late" Techno's voice came into Tommy's ears, a sleepy gruff voice, as he came to the opposite side of the building's front door. 

Tommy couldn't hurt the horse, even if it meant his life, so instead he took defeat and curled up into a ball, his arms braced around his head, palms against his ears leaning against the fence, held up still mostly by the horse. If he looked pathetic, then good, cause that's how he felt. 

"Carl? You good?" there was a pause as Techno came closer "What have you got there buddy? Is it a zombie villager?" 

If Tommy wasn't so deadly afraid he would have laughed, instead he began to shake, his fingers struggling to stay against his ears, as they brought themselves down to his side defeated. 

"T… Tommy?" Techno's eyes were burning into his huddled form, Tommy didn't look up, from here if Techno really wanted he could cut Tommy's throat and be done with him. 

Techno's hand commanded Carl to drop him nonverbally, the boy jostling at the weird change of balance, then he realised this was his shot, if he just ran right now and didn't stop he'd live, but as his head lifted and his eyes met his big brother he knew he was paralyzed to the ground. 

"Hey…" Tommy responded, adding a sarcastic chuckle as he tried to stabilize his shaking. 

A spiteful sigh filled the air, followed by a small condescending cluck of the piglin's tongue.

"You're not meant to be here Tommy, this isn't your home anymore, you made that clear" Techno stated sharply, kneeling beside Tommy, who instinctively turned his body in the opposite direction. 

"I know… I know I did.. I'm sorry" he mumbled out, looking toward the ground "It was an accident" 

"An accident? My house is literally miles away from anyone else's in every and all directions, don't lie to me Tommy" he sounded angry as he said that, the small boys stomach flipped as his physce tried to Guage how much longer until they'd break out into argument. 

"Did someone send you?" a soft pause later "Did Dream send you?" 

The boy's soft ocean eyes immediately locked onto Techno's pericing crimson ones, first seeming confused and scared, before then falling to defensiveness and resign. He shook his head a few times, looking past Techno for a second into the horizon, seemingly swallowing down his words, when he focused again, he shook his head once more, fidgiting with his nimble numb fingers.

"Why would even you suggest that?" he remarked bitterly in such a small voice" I thought you knew enough to know I'd rather die than do anything for that man"

"Well times change Tommy, and so do friends, alliences and enemies" Techno snarked back, trying to not let Tommy weak voice break his composure. 

"I don't give a shit about time changing Techno, one thing that's not gonna change is the time I endured with him" the boy barked with sudden attitude. 

"Funny? I thought simularly about us? That we actually had a connection again, and then you tossed it away for a doomed nation and a friend driven by nothing more than political greed" Techno's voice matched Tommy's but with more grit. 

"Oh you can get off your fucking high horse! You are a hypocrite, a big fucking liar as much as me! As much as Tubbo" Tommy voice finally seemed to reach a spark, now ignited "You know what Tubbo is? Tubbo's a kid Technoblade, a kid who was shot point blank in the face by a person he deemed a brother issued by a man he could almost call a father. Go on! Tell me Techno, did he deserve that? Did he deserve to die Techno?" 

"I was backed into a corner, I had no option but to follow orders! And after I saw how horrible those orders were I rebelled against the structure that enforced them! Like I said I would? How could you not see that?! " Techno fought back verbally. 

"No Techno, you did that for you" Tommy gritted his teeth, his features snarling uncomfortably "All that 'rebellion' and 'resolve' was for your own ego. Cause if you had even for a second regretted your actions, what you did then, you'd of seeked out Tubbo's forgiveness"

Tommy huffed a heavy breathe out "Tubbo is dumb and niave, he forgave you from the start, and from the moment you noticed that, you labelled him weak. A weak person, a weak man, a weak president" 

Techno tried to respond, anger building up at Tommy twisting his words and actions, but the boy cut him off swiftly. 

"But he's not, he's not weak" Tommy swung his head back against the fence loudly, startling Carl"He's a strong kid, and made hard calls and stood by them" 

A thick silence fell before Tommy tuned his head to stare down Techno with an expression that almost scared the fearless man out of a complete sentance there was something new behind that expression. It was different, less sadness more anger. 

"Y'know w a couple days ago, he called to us, Dream, I mean, with the disks as a insentive" a sour laugh tore out of Tommy "It became a ragdoll fight, Tubbo nearly died for the stupid disks there, only for Dream to break those disks beneath his boots" 

"The disks are gone?" Technoblade muttered out in a off handed surprise. 

"They were fake, it was a tease to mock us, before he took us to the actual disks" Tommy leaned back and blinked with heavy eyelids, his bottom lip quavering" an entire massive vault, two exits, one sealed the other to god know where, and in this room was everything everyone cared about"

"From Sapnap's fish to Wilbur's friend we fought passed on Doomsday, he took them and kept them as motive, to 'show that attachment made us weak'" Tommy explained, using his hands to pronounce the quotation marks " It was chilling, beyond chilling then you know what he did Techno?" 

Techno tried to put himself in Dream's mindset, in the situation and the power he had, trying to overpower his own feelings with logic. 

"Did he make you destroy it all? So he could blame you, like the community house or use it all as blackmail?" 

The small child angry finally broke into sadness, like this was the first time he'd talked to someone about that. Techno had to remind himself he probably was, due to Tommy's current social relationships. The more he stared and waited the worse Tommy seemed to get. 

He was back to full on shaking now with his eyes not quite meeting anyone or anything, fingers clenched in on his palms as he brought them to try to his teeth to stop his teeth from chattering like a lose skull. 

"He gave me five minutes to say goodbye to Tubbo and a pat on the back" his voice came out warbled and completely broken, and small hiccups of burning breath followed after. 

Techno couldn't do this anymore, he couldn't keep up this tough charade, this stupid challenge to push his youngest brother away anymore, he'd seen Tommy bad before but this was something different, it was a vile taste that began to burn through his body, begging him to reach out to Tommy. 

Then again right before Techno reach out, Tommy spoke and the brother listened. 

"We were saved, by everyone, expect you and Phil but I know he meant it, completely, and I don't care what you think of Tubbo or what your relationship is to Dream, but I should not have to deal with my best friend coming to term to his own death because of me, okay? That's not f-fair, that's not fucking fair! " 

Tommy breathing hitched as he spoke and followed Techno's expression, he wanted to be stoic, angry and resentful, wanted to prove his point but his heart couldn't take it, it ruined him. He turned his head away, as he tried to settle himself, gently biting his fingers to try an stifle his breaths, leading to some painful sounding hiccups. 

"Tommy..." the piglin reach out a palm, then silently did some breathing exercises for Tommy to copy, in a way that didn't disturb his current grounding techniques, when he finally began to settle, Techno followed through" Why did you really come here?" 

Tommy hesitated at Techno's hand, a part of him just yearned whilst another just screeched, when his hand finally fell into his buff older brother he told himself it was only for warmth in the cold weather. 

"A part of me just wanted to see here again, dispute what happened, I felt... Happy here, and I miss that" he admitted before offering more context "It's more of a common thing that a sudden urge, ever since then I like to go on walks in the night, place to place" 

Techno raised an eyebrow, knawing at the skin inside his cheek "Where have you been sleeping?" 

Tommy laughed far too quickly after that response to the point where when he knew he'd messed up. 

Techno held onto Tommy's small hand a little tighter as the boy immediately tried to pull it away before firmly stating "Elaborate Tommy"

"No" the boy replied almost immediately with a flat tone, still trying to free his hand from Techno's

"Elaborate right now" this time his voice wasn't asking, it was a demand, in a tone that made both of them feel a familiar twinge of guilt, making Tommy just stare blankly ahead until found his words. 

"I-I walk, I walk usually just randomly to anywhere, I'll walk in circles until dawn comes or pass out sometimes, and then sometimes I choose to sleep but then when I'm brought back to reality I don't have to burden anyone" 

Another resigned sigh fell from Techno's lips as he cursed internally his youngest siblings coping mechanism, if they weren't re the death of Tommy, they'd certainly end up being Techno's downfall.

"I don't get it, you have Tubbo, a home and a bed, why do that to yourself? " Tommy could make out something else in his voice, was it concern or pity? 

"Don't you think Tubbo gets enough nightmares as it is? he shouldn't have to deal with mine, he's a kid not a therapist" the words came out a little more heavy than he intended, probably because it was constantly weighing on his mind. 

"I see, anyway how's your little sleeping tactic working? Your eye bags are telling me not too well" Techno joked, giving Tommy a playful punch to his shoulder, he just flinched and became distant, if Techno wasn't worried before he sure as hell was now. 

The stillness in the air was sour, as Techno waited for him to ground himself and for a response, eventually when the boy hadn't moved in nearly five minutes he reached his hand towards the boy and was silenced by the words Tommy said next.

"Can you just kill me already?" his tone was cold and distant but it stopped Techno's heart nevertheless. 

"Excuse me?" his response came also breathless as if the oxygen was slowly being stolen from him. 

"I betrayed you, I back stabbed you and left you to nearly die and used you, I know you want to murder me Techno, it's written on your face" the child bared his feral teeth in a canine like scowl, still that lip was quivering though. 

"I never once said I wanted you dead Tommy, never" Techno muttered softly, and the strong piglins's heart seemed to burn up his chest. 

"Yes you do!" Tommy shouted loudly , spurting into an outburst "Yes you fucking do, I'm fucking horrible, I stole from you, I-I did everything wrong!" 

He tried to continue but the words fell flat on his tongue and then there was a pause, as Tommy finally looked at his brother properly.

"I deserve to die, if it's by your hand" though it felt like it should have only been a whisper Tommy could hear the echo of his own words as his brother pierced his soul through his eyes. 

There was silence for a moment, and then suddenly Tommy was yanked, pulled into Techno, who was much much warmer than his horse with a much faster heartbeat, it was nice but Tommy's numbness didn't break until he heard a rattle in Techno skeleton, and Tommy shoulder began to get damp. Technoblade, the unbreakable, the strongest man he knew in the world was crying. 

"Don't you dare.. Don't you ever say that to me Tommy" it was such a strange experience to hear the big man choked up "You're my baby brother, Tommy, I can hate you… I can despise your face and everything about you but I could never take your life" 

That's when the waterfalls brimmed on Tommy's eyes, gushing down in a hot and painful stream, as he made a sound that fell between a cry and a laugh, holding his brother like he had wanted to so desperately for so long ever since they'd separated. 

"I'm upset, and I think I'm allowed to be but I still love you" Techno admitted in the most vulnerable sentence he think he'd ever said "I know that might be a bit too confusing for your little head to understand"

It took awhile for Tommy to be able to speak again, and even so it sat on the whiny tone of breaking waters again "No.. I get it, I'm upset still too but I think… i think I forgive you" 

Techno seemed to falter, his hands tracing Tommy's shoulder blades as he leant his head against Tommy. 

"Doomsday, that was dirty of me, even by standards, I was hurt, devastated and I just wanted some sort of leverage, I wanted destruction and blood and everything went too far " 

"I'm guessing those little voices weren't on my side" 

'No, they were actually, they were very annoyed at me and seemed to be upset at my actions which was a wierd change to be sure" there was a small chuckle behind those words as he recalled it. 

"Yeah, it's weird when they do that" he muttered off handedly, Tommy fell still and he began stuttering out words to try and excuse himself, as Techno processed what he said he let out a massive huff, pulling away to look Tommy in the eyes 

"I knew it, you idiot, you could of always told me or the rest of the family" 

"I did, I told Wilbur and then he… He Lost to his own voices" Tommy mentally tried to place himself in Wilbur's shoes, hand hovering a button with Philza trying to deescalate the situation whilst they were just screaming in his head, and then.. Release. 

It was almost pleasant sounding.

"I wouldn't say he lost to the voices, instead he lost any form of reason, you were there of course but you were just a kid, you couldn't answer the things that plagued him, so he let them direct him instead, and those little voices value chaos above anything else that's why that happened and it was tragic" Techno didn't know why he felt the need to explain it, but he'd spent you much time analyzing the day of Wilbur's death. 

"Can you hear them right now? What are they saying?" Tommy quickly changed the topic, trying to remain in lighter territory to avoid any more outburst of emotion. 

" Hmm let's see, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, /hidechat, /rainbow chat, shut up already, tissues shop!!, why is Tommy being so whiny, what time is it? Can he cut the wholesome crap?"

Tommy laughed," Is that all they're saying?" Techno nodded his head confidently but they both knew he was lying because all Tommy could hear was ' Happyinnit! We're canon! Big brother Techno! Bro supremacy! Tommy is so cute, Technoblade never dies but he does cry' 

Tommy laughed quietly at the last one, as Techno quizzed him with his eyebrows as the boy refused to answer him, Techno eventually gave up and then unexpectedly picked up Tommy bridal style. 

"I think you need some sleep, big guy" Techno teased, using the hand he had around Tommy's shoulders to gently rub circles on his cheek, the boy's baby blues seemed to flicker in misunderstanding. 

"You've already told me this isn't my home, and you don't wanna to deal with my morning self, I'm genuinely fine with sleeping outside Techy" how was he trying to push Techno away whilst still using a nickname, the blade was sure that broke some sort of moral code. 

"Shut up idiot" the door into the cottage was locked after they entered, putting Tommy down and patting him towards to the upstairs library,where usually Techno liked to sleep when reading "Get up the ladder and into the bloody bed" 

Tommy couldn't express the gratitude he was feeling, through any words, Techno saw it though, through his wide puppy eyes. Tommy climbed the ladder, and there were the sounds of movement upstairs of the child getting into bed. 

And ten minutes later, though the light was off the blade knew Tommy was still awake which was confirmed when he heard Tommy's voice call out softly.

"Techno?"  
"Yeah buddy?"  
"Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?"  
"Damn clingy much kid?"  
"I-I'm sorry"  
"Shut up I'm on my way up now, try and get comfortable" 

Tommy's smile was a nice gift as Techno entered the room, who waved, Tech took a book from the bookcases, peering over the spine of the book at Tommy, who was trying to pretend he was asleep or nearly enough. 

"You want a story?" Tommy jolted upwards, completely disregarding his acting gig, staring in excitement mouthing 'like before' as the piglin laughed beginning to tell the tale in his hands. 

It wasn't too long until Tommy was out properly this time, looking ever so peaceful. 

Techno placed the book down, and began to readjust Tommy's covers, making sure he was sleeping comfortably before just staring fondly. 

"I'll be here when you wake up" he whispered as he swept Tommy curls to the side "Today and tomorrow and whenever you need me"

**Author's Note:**

> What do you mean I adore the Sleepy bois dynamics espically Techno and Tommy's rough and rough friendship?
> 
> Yeah it's hella obvious :D.
> 
> Comments are appreciated, cristism too!!


End file.
